The Preseli MTB Challenge - cometh the day, cometh the men (and women).
Saturday, 20th September 2008 - Preseli Mountains, Pembrokeshire, Wales
Saturday saw local mountain bikers gather in Rosebush for the inaugural
Preseli MTB Challenge. The event, organised after Cardigan based
cycling club Velo Teifi were challenged by their Newport neighbours,
entailed an 18 mile circuit starting and finishing at Tafarn
Sinc. Routing through Rosebush forestry and up on to the Drovers
Trail, the course had everything – stunning views, exciting down
hill sections, lung-bursting climbs and the odd ‘water
feature’; all combining to ensure that this was no simple cycle
in the park…
The challenge format was simple –
fastest cumulative time of the first five riders from each team would
take the prize; teams comprising of up to ten members, male and female.
With
the riders briefed, pleasantries exchanged and copious amounts of
energy drinks consumed, the off-road peleton rumbled away from the
start line to the bemusement (and some cheering) of the gathered
locals, hill walkers and well wishers. Chit chat and
general banter lasted until the Preseli’s finest inclines took
hold and began to beat individual riders into submission. Team
Newport’s Mike Perry established an early pace, with team-mate
Josh Ogilvy and Velo Teifi’s Tom Kurowski, Andrew Lindsay and
Robin Thomas clinging to his knobbly tyres as best the terrain would
allow. A second group formed, a few seconds back, comprising
VT’s Ioan Morris, Dylan Evans and Hywel Evans with Andy Mather
maintaining a presence for the Pembrokeshire Outfit.
Slopes were
tackled with mountain goat-like ease, bogs were traversed with varying
success and the down hills dispensed with scant regard and over-worked
suspension. And, at the end of it all, Mike Perry had stretched
out his lead to two minutes to take victory. A dead heat for
second was recorded, with Josh Ogilvy and Tom Kurowski inseparable
after over an hour and half of purgatory. Sheila Williams led the
ladies home. However, it was the team score that everyone was
interested in and, after employing some of the world’s most
powerful computers and scientific minds the winners were decreed.
Velo Teifi took the honours this year, their top five coming in a
cumulative 25 minutes ahead.
The afternoon’s finale was a
banquet at Tafarn Sinc, with formal podiums, presentations and glamour
girls handing out champagne for the celebrations. Well, Hancocks
HB, fizzy pop and chips anyway.
A special mention goes to a
selection of the members of Team Newport, some of whom had experienced
in excess of 50 summers prior to this gruelling event – you know
who you are!
And while we’re talking ‘special
mentions’, a big shout goes out to VT’s Allan McGuire who
finished the last six miles with only one pedal (and a very tired left
leg).
Memorable Quotes:
Velo Teifi’s Chairman, Carl Davies said,
“We’re really pleased with the turnout today; the fact we
were turning away entrants bodes well for future events. We hope
to develop this into an annual event, open to any team wishing to take
part. It could become local cycling’s equivalent of Ras
Beca”.
Ian Hipkins, Newport stalwart and enthusiastic DVD
seller said, “We’re gutted. We’ve trained hard
for six months in preparation for this event and to be beaten like
sorry street urchins really hurts. We could do no more, Velo
Teifi are an awesome cycling machine with obvious strength in
depth”.
A Velo Teifi member who wished to remain anonymous
stated, “We crushed them to a pulp, ground them into the bog,
chewed them up and spat them out. We were magnificent
today. We have consolidated our standing as the greatest cycling
club in the Cardigan/Newcastle Emlyn area. I may be regarded as
the club’s Hard Man of Cycling, but today everyone showed…
Oh, hang on… has that given my identity away? Stop
writing, switch that thing o….”
A Team Newport
member who also wished to remain anonymous whined, “Well they
look the part, I’ll grant you. But our average age today
was 67 and we’d all been marathon running yesterday and then
canoeing to Ireland and back, followed by everyone’s
participation in the Newport Grizzly Bear Wrestling Festival –
something we all like to do in Newport… Should I go on?”
At
the end of the evening, another VT member wishing to remain anonymous
slurred “I love you, I do… You’re my besht friend,
you are [hic]. Lesh do this again nexsht year, shall we? On
unishycles… naked… carrying various kitchen
utenshals….” Drunken arse.
Mrs Jones ap Cwac-Cwac from Rosebush said, “I’m 76 you know”.
A pictoral record of the days events is given below...
Andrew continued to get ready for the race, blissfully unaware a small boy had glued his own head to the car.
Head Timekeeper, stalwart and all round Good Egg still refuses to make eye contact.
"...and if I conceal it here, they'll
never know I'm packing heat. ha ha ha ha....." Young Tom
aka "Pistol Pete" psyches up...
Andy put in an impressive time, even with one leg considerably shorter than the other.
" ta de dah de dah... Oh yes, just back from Ireland and learnt me new jig... ta de dah de dah..." Dylan the Leprechaun
"Seriously. One more photo and I'll stick that camera up your..." Pre-race nerves bring out the best in Michelle.
Hywel models as the Winning Cup
With the blacked-out Range Rover in for a service, Team Newport were forced to use the less-than-discrete drug running wagon.
A beautiful view... ruined by gurning cyclists.
With only a few female riders taking part, Young Tom was quick of the mark to identify and give chase...
Young Tom's 'Chase Face'
Team Newport's "experienced" rouleurs...
The drugs clearly work...
Not quite true, Robin's actually married.
More used to track and field, Andy finds it difficult to get out of the javelin habit.
Magnum PI spotted on Welsh Mountain.
Smiling AND going up hill. It'll never catch on.
Biker babes skip up the mountain side.
For sale. MTB. One careful owner who, sadly, drowned...
Biker babes walk away in disgust at VTCC Chairman's suggestion of 'nipping down a shortcut; no-one will ever know...'
What's wrong with this picture?
Yep - Allan has not spotted the Preseli Lizard clinging to his leg...
Andrew's comedy contact lenses keeps 'em rolling in the aisles.
Hywel's Adonis pose was always a winner at mealtimes
But it wasn't as good as his "cheeky chappy smile" pose though.
The end.